I've had time lately to ponder my life, my goals, my hopes, my needs. And I've decided, again (hey, it takes me a couple times for things to stick), that my situation is not worth wasting precious time over. I have some work experience. I am applying for library jobs (wish me luck), but if that doesn't happen in two months, I'm leaving here anyway. Hey, it'll be the festive holiday season and many low paying, seasonal jobs will appear. My goal/deadline for leaving is November 10th (unless I get a fabulous job offer that starts sooner). I've been doing this day by day, but the day by day is becoming a slog through quicksand. That's my cue. I know myself well enough to know this is a danger sign for depression and worse. I will not lose my soul for job experience.
I've thought that sticking it out here might give me some sort of illuminating life lessons, since it reminds me of situations in my past. I've finally figured out, though, that the lesson here is Done That. Don't Need To Do It Again. Thank you universe, for letting me finally finally figure that out. It's not necessary to do painful things over and over, hoping for a different outcome that won't happen. Sometimes the lesson is seeing the hole, getting the hell out of it, and going a different direction. Point taken. Climbing out now. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I have options, and am coming up with lots and lots of plans. This magpie is getting ready to fly.
And yes, the lily planted in the trash can did bloom, spectacularly, as I can only hope to do.
And yes, the lily planted in the trash can did bloom, spectacularly, as I can only hope to do.
