Freedom!

I have finished all my SLIS classes and I am DONE! The celebrating will have to commence when I get back to Bloomington; in the meantime, I will do a happy dance between loads of laundry, presentation practice, and packing.

Making it through this program is something I could NOT have done without all the help that I got along the way. It's hard to believe that last fall I thought I would have to leave because of finances. Now, I am this close to officially having my MLS (all I need is the paperwork to catch up with me).

To all of you who provided help - financially, emotionally, and any other "ly" I'm forgetting, I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Thanks, thanks, thanks!! Big hugs and a celebratory toast to you all.

And the countdown continues

for those keeping score. Tomorrow is my last SLIS class. (woo hoo!) My final paper is done and printed (check). My two hour class discussion facilitation is as done as it's getting, with an outline and source list typed up to turn in (check).

I have my plane ticket, reservation from Bloomington to Indianapolis with the shuttle people, my interview suit, and the designated 2 oz containers so I don't have to check my bag. I have thank you cards for the search committee (and some extras). I have tons of questions - to both ask and that might be asked. (check, check, check, etc, you get the idea)

So what is missing? That would be the completely finished presentation, along with handout. I'm working on it, and will undoubtedly be working on it tomorrow. And because I'll probably still be working on it until Sunday night, I will have to take heavy laptop with me. *sigh*

On the bright side, in roughly 4 days time, it will be Monday morning and I will be in Alaska finishing up the presentation, for better or worse. As I've said (447 times before), it will be good practice and a good experience if nothing else. I think really meaning this (as opposed to saying it and hoping to believe it) shifts some of my stress. I know I can tend to get caught up in the feeling that one experience (a job interview) carries all these HUGE consequences for the rest of my life. Yes, I think I might like this job, but it is ONE job in the grand scheme of life; if it doesn't happen, well, that opens doors to other opportunities. I'm repeating this to myself so I can shift the, oh, 10-20 percent of my brain that doesn't believe it yet.

When I get back to Bloomington on Tuesday, I will have one Education Library shift to finish, a few weeks of work in the cube, and then Bloomington and I will be finished with each other. I'm a little sad about that; having an apartment that I like has really changed how I feel about the town.

I will keep everyone posted about the job search happenings, and will post pictures and thoughts about the trip once I get back. Now, back to my presentation... after a break to look at an adorable photo of Callie sleeping on a yarn ball... (try that for added degree of difficulty while knitting!

Decisions

Okay, those of you who have talked to me lately have seen me at my crazy and indecisive best, even for a Libra. Depending on the day you talked to me, I might have been postponing graduation for a semester, possibly applying to PhD programs and any other sort of postponement of life after SLIS.

The whole job search thing is such a roller coaster ride. Woo hoo, we're up! Oh, now we're down. They called, they haven't called. I was an idiot during my interview. I wasn't that bad. Repeat. (and repeat, and repeat again.)

I don't like the not knowing that comes with change. It was feeling safer to stay for another semester, just to know what was happening in the future. I think life has a way of figuring out when you're avoiding, though. I had two things happen this weekend that have helped push me away from my indecisiveness.

One, I had an email from Alaska, and I'm still a candidate (their term - "one of the finalists"). I have another phone interview to look forward to surviving. What I want to know is if I get a sash for being a finalist (I've been practicing my wave).

Two, I have someone to take over the lease of my apartment. This means I will need to go somewhere at the end of December, so I can't keep doing this wishy washy, I want it all kind of thing. I want to be in school and out of school. I want to stay here and I want to leave. I want to move and not move. Straddling all those fences was making me cranky, if nothing else.

It's kind of funny. I was just talking about this on Saturday at work. I left thinking, I really can't keep trying to stand in all the squares at the same time. It's one thing to stay with the feeling of being uncomfortable while you consider options. It's another to know what you need to do, but let fear make you crazy. Deciding to decide, deciding to do what I needed to do even though I was afraid, opened things up that had seemed stuck. Weird that that's when I suddenly got emails.... hmm, some of you would say that it's not a coincidence.

So, apparently, I will be graduating in December, according to plan. I may or may not be employed. Believe me, I will keep everyone posted on how the job search goes. And if you find me sleeping on your porch in January, well, just look at it as having your own live-in librarian.... In the meantime, pass me some boxes. Looks like I'm packing for the eleventeenth time.