Night Clouds

Billowing up, hiding the mountains, stacked pillowy layers of white.

Sometime soon you'll bring us gifts of snowflakes, hushing the streets with their softness.

Birthday List

I saw on a blog the idea to create a birthday list, of things to accomplish for the year. I really like that idea - to measure things in my own personal year, and to make a commitment to accomplishing these things instead of sticking them on a list to do "someday."

So, this is my list, the things I am pledging to accomplish between Oct. 8, 2011 and Oct. 8, 2012.

I Pledge To:

1. explore ideas about nutrition and health, reading at least one book or article a month that has to do with health and wellness.

2. make permanent changes in my diet to help fuel my body in the healthiest way for me.

3. eat at least 5 servings of fruit per day.

4. eat at least 5 servings of vegetables per day.

5. eat fish at least twice a week (preferably salmon, sardines, etc).

6. find a recipe for whole-grain bread, and bake my own bread every week.

7. change my diet so the backbone is whole grains and beans, like lentils, quinoa, barley, bulgar, beans, etc.

8. drink 64 oz of water per day.

9. exercise 6 days per week, with a combination exercise for cardio, strength and flexibility.

10. do a 2-3 day (overnight) hike.

11. run a ½ marathon.

12. increase flexibility in my shoulder area.

13. increase strength in my shoulders, arms.

14. take kayaking lessons.

15. go snowshoeing at least 3 times during the winter.

16. get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night.

17. plant a small kitchen garden in the spring.

18. buy a CSA share.

19. preserve food from my garden, CSA, and farmer's markets (learn to can).

20. complete NaNoWriMo in November 2011.

21. get a tattoo on my left foot to complete the design started on my right foot.

22. take computer programming classes.

23. refresh my web design skills.

24. learn about programming for mobile apps.

25. get a smartphone (so I understand how to use mobile apps).

26. take webinars to keep my library skills current.

27. monitor job posting sites weekly.

28. continue to compile a list of job skills that I don't yet have that are required for positions I'd love.

29. find webinars, classes, or volunteer opportunities to learn skills I don't yet possess.

30. apply for jobs that fit parameters I have set until I have a job I love.

31. visit Chris and Frankie.

32. visit Bonnie.

33. go to Iowa in July for the family reunion.

34. visit Kathy and Andy in MN.

35. figure out how to knit lace, using the combination method.

36. knit a lacy shawl or scarf.

37. learn how to knit with multiple colors.

38. learn how to finish knit items more cleanly and professionally.

39. knit a sweater.

40. learn to crochet.

41. spend at least 15 minutes checking in with myself in the morning.

42. spend at least 15 minutes checking in with myself at night.

43. sit with myself and just feel my feelings when I am restless, fluttery, anxious, stuffed with cotton batting.

44. journal regularly.

45. stock up on art supplies to use to explore feelings (thicker paper for collage/painting, more brushes, art paper for collage, acrylics, very fine point sharpies.

46. buy a comfortable pair of mary janes I love, even if they are expensive (because I will end up wearing them every day for 2 or more years).

47. wear clothes I love, that fit me, and delight me, regardless of what others may think.

48. remind myself that indulging occasionally is one thing, but burying my fears in constant indulgence will kill me.

49. be a parent to myself – no is sometimes the kindest thing.

50. find, or start, a non-fiction book club.

51. celebrate the holidays I choose, in my own way, with rituals/celebrations that fit me and have meaning for me.

52. cherish my physical body, treating it gently and with the same sort of respect I would give if it belonged to someone else.

Tawny

The bright colors of fall are beautiful, but my favorites are the tawny colors of drying grasses and weeds. If you let your eye catch on them, explore them, you notice the differences between what could seem a large stretch of sameness. A phrase from a Mary Oliver poem pops into my head - "and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular." I sometimes think that if we humans managed to eradicate all the things "we" deem as not useful or not beautiful, the world would be so much less rich. So, here, now, I am thankful for all the marvelous beauty and diversity that surrounds me in my own yard and community.

thyme under leaves

Virginia creeper

rock wall and beautiful, tawny weeds

dried grasses and rocks

tawny and headframe

mountains and weeds

love the way the mountains look like layers, stacked on top of one another

more mountain layers (from Walkerville)

Callie in the sun, sharing the bed with a few fall decorations yet to be put up

Finishing

Wrapping up projects is something I really love. Don't get me wrong - I love starting projects, too. But finishing something, especially when it's been a big project.... Woo Hoo!!! I started volunteering at the archives in March, and have been working on the same project ever since. I have some data entry into a cataloging program left to do, but the actual sorting, flattening, foldering, and otherwise processing of the collection is done! 

These are the tables I've been using, totally cleaned off. The large metal cart with shelves I've been using is put away. Now there's space for something else, for someone else to spread out and get things done.

These are the 14 empty boxes I've accumulated. I ended up with 4 in the vault, plus all the folders. The excess.....

it's piled up on these shelves waiting for a trip to MSU Bozeman. I'll finish typing up the list on Tuesday, and then these will be boxed up and ready to go. I'll take a picture of the folders and boxes in the vault sometime next week. Ah, neatness, order, completeness.... it makes me so happy. 

I'm working on edits for my first project at work, and then I'll have completed my first historical context (which apparently doesn't suck as much as I thought it did). After that, it'll be on to another for the same project. The things I'll have learned.... I already know more about sheep grazing and historic irrigation than I ever thought I'd learn. 

Growth

Things are growing, but there's already that little bit of something in the air that signals fall creeping up - maybe it's the fact that it's already dusking and it's only 8:38 pm. The light is falling away, minutes chipped away from those oh so light, long, summer days.
Working at home has been an interesting challenge - trying to keep myself motivated, organized, on task. Apparently my small desk does not work for large projects. The living room floor has become a work surface. Since I'm hoping to finish up this week, I'm leaving things spread out. I'm too much of a neatnik to let this go for too long (yet another way to stay on task and deadline).
Callie checks these things out, sometimes lies in the middle, but mostly not. She knows when she can get attention, and when I will need to work instead of pet her. She keeps me sane, though, keeps me going. Her love and her demands have pulled me through a week I would rate at -3 on a 1-10 scale as far as confidence, acceptance, persistence. I wallowed a bit in self-pity, but I'm back to seeking, working, pondering, and experimenting.

"You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her." - Churchill

Processing

"You're already right where you need to be." - S. Hagen

For whatever reason, this quote has been rattling around my brain, and has shown up lately on other blogs I read. It's interesting, because after my job rejection, my reaction has been, "what's wrong with me? - what do I need to change to become right, to become enough...?" Job rejections are funny things. The whole job search process can be depressing, dehumanizing, demoralizing. You put your soul out there, and when you're rejected, you don't really know why. Was someone that much better, or did you do something to screw it up? Did you just not "fit," whatever that really means.

So, I'm back to looking at where I am now, and where I would like to be. I'm processing through the disappointment of rejection. I'm processing through the possibilities open to me right now, right here, in this place. I have loose ends here, projects that are tied to this place. Maybe we're not done with each other yet. Maybe, for now, I am where I need to be.

Vacationing with my mom

Busy, busy, busy! My mom was here for 2 weeks. We took a trip to Glacier, then she entertained herself for 4 days while I furiously prepared for a job interview, then we packed in some sightseeing in Butte before she left. We did manage to get to a couple nice/interesting places to eat (Broadway Cafe and Pekin), visit with some people I wanted her to meet, and we saw the Granite Mountain Mine Memorial (where we got to watch a fast moving rain storm), MT Tech Mineral Museum, Our Lady of the Rockies, and the World Museum of Mining.

Near the Granite Mountain Mine Memorial

Granite Mountain Mine Memorial - this commemorates the 168 men who died June 6, 1917 in a fire in the mine. It's a very sobering place to visit, and the plaques that had notes written by men trapped in the mine.... well, reading them makes me tear up. (bring Kleenexes, you will need them.)

Our Lady of the Rockies (best not to take the school bus trip up to the 9000 foot summit if you are getting a migraine)

View from the top (mining and the ever scenic Berkeley Pit)

Our Lady of the Rockies from the chapel area

The doll collection at the World Museum of Mining contains many action figures, etc. They have every Star Trek figure ever made, I think (these are just a few). It also includes figures from such popular TV series as Welcome Back, Kotter. (who knew?)

If I could steal this sign and get away with it, I would try. (Okay, maybe not, but I really thought about it). When I digitized many things for the library, those things included advertising. My FAVORITE ad was for Mr. Richards. His catchy advertising phrase? - "oldest undertaker" in Butte. Makes me laugh every time (including right now).

The World Museum of Mining has an entire town's worth of buildings that they've moved to the museum, building by building, from many different places. They have typical items found in that kind of building or business.

They also have an old mine on the grounds (hey, it's Butte). These are the cages that would have gone down into the Orphan Girl mine.

They also do an underground tour of part of the mine. You get to wear the cool helmet and light pack on a belt. My mom remains skeptical looking about her impending adventure (really it's part of an evil plot to imprison tourists and make them work in the mine... shhhh, don't tell them I told you).

The entrance to the underground tour. You go down into the darkness with your light shining.

This is our guide, explaining how things work. He worked in mines in Nevada and Montana.

Pretty self explanatory. I would have been ringing right away.

The cage. You can look down and see the water that's now filled all these old mines in Butte. It's a little odd to consider what's below you as you walk around every day...

This is the tour group with their helmets, watching our guide demonstrate a drill. It was an interesting tour, and definitely gives you an appreciation for what miners did (and still do).

So, now I'm catching up on all my work that I avoided while having fun and doing interview prep. And waiting to hear about the interview so I can make some decisions about near future plans. I can't believe it's August already. . . It is, however, delightfully un-humid, with highs in the 70s-80s and lows in the 40s (unlike most of the rest of the U.S.). If I am in Montana next summer, I will be booking tours again. Some of you people should get out of the heat and come visit me (you know who you are!).