I don't think I celebrated solstice last year. I ended up kind of lost there for awhile, down a hole I didn't realize I'd fallen into until after I'd left my job. So, note to self, don't stick out a job that is a truly horrible fit for some sort of reward that I will magically receive in the future. I put my present life on hold (yet again) for some kind of future event that could or could not (in this case, not) happen. For solstice, I think about my intentions for the new year, and about what I would like to rid myself of from the old one. This year, my intention is to live now, right here, in the present, without putting my life on hold for these things that will hopefully happen in the future. I have wanted to cut my hair short for several years, but have waited to lose weight, because fat people don't look good in short hair. Last weekend I had my hair cut short. I will not wait on these things that I want, for some sort of golden shining future moment when all things are perfect and I can have them. No, I want to have the things I want now. I want to have a life now. I'm tired of waiting and waiting. It's just a way to keep myself from having joy, from having peace, from being content. So what I want to rid myself of is that waiting; that's what I wrote on a scrap of paper and burned. Changes will happen this year, and it will be interesting to see how this works, where things go....
On solstice, I don't turn on any lights as it gets dark. I think about my intentions for the year, the things I tried to accomplish in the previous year, take a kind of inventory. Then, when it's dark, I light candles.
And I turn on the Christmas lights, and those are the only lights in the house for awhile. I think about the darkness, how it is just the other side of light. Without darkness, light would not have its power. Without pain, joy would not have its power. Without evil, good would not have its power.
Then I burn what I would like to rid myself of, in this case, the words "waiting for my real life to begin." And I thought about my intention, to live - now, here, with myself as I am. And I sent both out into the night, with the lights of candles and twinkling lights. Both sides - dark and light.
On solstice, I don't turn on any lights as it gets dark. I think about my intentions for the year, the things I tried to accomplish in the previous year, take a kind of inventory. Then, when it's dark, I light candles.
And I turn on the Christmas lights, and those are the only lights in the house for awhile. I think about the darkness, how it is just the other side of light. Without darkness, light would not have its power. Without pain, joy would not have its power. Without evil, good would not have its power.
Then I burn what I would like to rid myself of, in this case, the words "waiting for my real life to begin." And I thought about my intention, to live - now, here, with myself as I am. And I sent both out into the night, with the lights of candles and twinkling lights. Both sides - dark and light.
1 comment:
I loved this post. Amen to living now and not waiting! Happy 2012!
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