Making

Now that Christmas is over, I can post pictures of the things I made for gifts. I did some collage pictures, some bleach design t-shirts, and some bracelets and necklaces.

This is the rooster for my sister, Cyndi.

Copper wire family on wood for my brother, Ron

button tree for my sister, Sheri

book flower and twigs for my sister, Karen

mountain collage for my brother, Chris

button tree for my sister, Kathy

bleach design t-shirts - the star for my nephew, Jim (the lion was my test shirt, which has found a good home)

star with barbed wire for my nephew, Josh and eagle for my nephew, Dawson

ninja star for my nephew Tyler and pirate skull for my nephew Bradley

chef pirate shirt for Keven and waffle shirt for Craig

cat pirate shirt for Becky

bracelets for my nieces, Kira and Morgan

bracelets for my nieces, Harley, Katie, and Gina

twine and bead bracelets for Katie, Harley and Gina (separated so you can see them better)

leather wrapped bracelets for Katie, Harley, Gina (separated so you can see them better)

stuff for my mom - necklace, button bracelet and stretchy bracelet

necklace for Denise - close up of key pendant

overall view of necklace for Denise (with bonus apple in the background)

I'm finishing up some fingerless gloves for a couple other people who I'll hopefully see for New Year's. Otherwise, they'll be getting a New Year's package....

Holes

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

- Portia Nelson

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost… I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend that I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in this same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Things I'm listening to today

Solstice 2011

I don't think I celebrated solstice last year. I ended up kind of lost there for awhile, down a hole I didn't realize I'd fallen into until after I'd left my job. So, note to self, don't stick out a job that is a truly horrible fit for some sort of reward that I will magically receive in the future. I put my present life on hold (yet again) for some kind of future event that could or could not (in this case, not) happen. For solstice, I think about my intentions for the new year, and about what I would like to rid myself of from the old one. This year, my intention is to live now, right here, in the present, without putting my life on hold for these things that will hopefully happen in the future. I have wanted to cut my hair short for several years, but have waited to lose weight, because fat people don't look good in short hair. Last weekend I had my hair cut short. I will not wait on these things that I want, for some sort of golden shining future moment when all things are perfect and I can have them. No, I want to have the things I want now. I want to have a life now. I'm tired of waiting and waiting. It's just a way to keep myself from having joy, from having peace, from being content. So what I want to rid myself of is that waiting; that's what I wrote on a scrap of paper and burned. Changes will happen this year, and it will be interesting to see how this works, where things go....
On solstice, I don't turn on any lights as it gets dark. I think about my intentions for the year, the things I tried to accomplish in the previous year, take a kind of inventory. Then, when it's dark, I light candles.
And I turn on the Christmas lights, and those are the only lights in the house for awhile. I think about the darkness, how it is just the other side of light. Without darkness, light would not have its power. Without pain, joy would not have its power. Without evil, good would not have its power.
Then I burn what I would like to rid myself of, in this case, the words "waiting for my real life to begin." And I thought about my intention, to live - now, here, with myself as I am. And I sent both out into the night, with the lights of candles and twinkling lights. Both sides - dark and light.

December 2011 Pictures

There's been a bit of snow, but not much. No sledding this year while tree hunting. This is the most snow I found that day.

And some more smatterings of snow, and gnarled roots, and the green of trees...

my tree in the wild

Ice carving was the same day as tree hunting, so I walked around to check it out when we got back. There were a lot of new carvers this year. This is a moose just down the block from my favorite coffee place.

This is the grand prize winner - it's a phoenix, and the picture does not do it justice.

My porch decorations - maybe $5 worth from the thrift store. Still, it looks festive, and since I have no outside electricity, lights are out.

door wreath

festive table decorations, including my funky skiing girl

kitchen window - I found big light bulbs (yes, the thrift store) and tied them onto a jute cord to create garland

Christmas tree with lights and decorations

frosty fence

bag number one of packages mailed

and bag number two

Birthday Quilt

So, part of my crazy November was doing a quilt for my brother's birthday. I made one for him when we were both much younger... with denim patches on one side and bandanas on the other. This time, I did the denim (from old jeans), but a plain back. It's tied, instead of quilted (which is how the original was done). He likes it, so mission accomplished. Here Callie is doing some quality control, inspecting the underside.

the quilt (complete with pockets)

Cat tested, and approved

And happy 50th birthday to my brother....

My how time flies

when you're buried under papers.... This has become a pretty typical look for my desk.
This is becoming typical of the rest of the house, crafty piles here and there.
Between working at home (hence the desk), and working on Christmas and birthday gifts (the crafty piles), the house is not exactly as organized as usual. Birthday present will be mailed Monday or Tuesday, as will the Christmas present going to London. The rest are moving along. I'm hoping they'll be mostly done by the beginning of December. That will give me time to clean up so I can go on the great tree hunt and have another lovely tree we've chopped down.

I'm looking forward to that - a clean house and decorations and a lovely tree with lights. It's become my carrot, pushing me forward. Unfortunately, I can't post any crafty pictures until after they are received (no Christmas spoilers here, sorry).

Night Clouds

Billowing up, hiding the mountains, stacked pillowy layers of white.

Sometime soon you'll bring us gifts of snowflakes, hushing the streets with their softness.

Birthday List

I saw on a blog the idea to create a birthday list, of things to accomplish for the year. I really like that idea - to measure things in my own personal year, and to make a commitment to accomplishing these things instead of sticking them on a list to do "someday."

So, this is my list, the things I am pledging to accomplish between Oct. 8, 2011 and Oct. 8, 2012.

I Pledge To:

1. explore ideas about nutrition and health, reading at least one book or article a month that has to do with health and wellness.

2. make permanent changes in my diet to help fuel my body in the healthiest way for me.

3. eat at least 5 servings of fruit per day.

4. eat at least 5 servings of vegetables per day.

5. eat fish at least twice a week (preferably salmon, sardines, etc).

6. find a recipe for whole-grain bread, and bake my own bread every week.

7. change my diet so the backbone is whole grains and beans, like lentils, quinoa, barley, bulgar, beans, etc.

8. drink 64 oz of water per day.

9. exercise 6 days per week, with a combination exercise for cardio, strength and flexibility.

10. do a 2-3 day (overnight) hike.

11. run a ½ marathon.

12. increase flexibility in my shoulder area.

13. increase strength in my shoulders, arms.

14. take kayaking lessons.

15. go snowshoeing at least 3 times during the winter.

16. get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night.

17. plant a small kitchen garden in the spring.

18. buy a CSA share.

19. preserve food from my garden, CSA, and farmer's markets (learn to can).

20. complete NaNoWriMo in November 2011.

21. get a tattoo on my left foot to complete the design started on my right foot.

22. take computer programming classes.

23. refresh my web design skills.

24. learn about programming for mobile apps.

25. get a smartphone (so I understand how to use mobile apps).

26. take webinars to keep my library skills current.

27. monitor job posting sites weekly.

28. continue to compile a list of job skills that I don't yet have that are required for positions I'd love.

29. find webinars, classes, or volunteer opportunities to learn skills I don't yet possess.

30. apply for jobs that fit parameters I have set until I have a job I love.

31. visit Chris and Frankie.

32. visit Bonnie.

33. go to Iowa in July for the family reunion.

34. visit Kathy and Andy in MN.

35. figure out how to knit lace, using the combination method.

36. knit a lacy shawl or scarf.

37. learn how to knit with multiple colors.

38. learn how to finish knit items more cleanly and professionally.

39. knit a sweater.

40. learn to crochet.

41. spend at least 15 minutes checking in with myself in the morning.

42. spend at least 15 minutes checking in with myself at night.

43. sit with myself and just feel my feelings when I am restless, fluttery, anxious, stuffed with cotton batting.

44. journal regularly.

45. stock up on art supplies to use to explore feelings (thicker paper for collage/painting, more brushes, art paper for collage, acrylics, very fine point sharpies.

46. buy a comfortable pair of mary janes I love, even if they are expensive (because I will end up wearing them every day for 2 or more years).

47. wear clothes I love, that fit me, and delight me, regardless of what others may think.

48. remind myself that indulging occasionally is one thing, but burying my fears in constant indulgence will kill me.

49. be a parent to myself – no is sometimes the kindest thing.

50. find, or start, a non-fiction book club.

51. celebrate the holidays I choose, in my own way, with rituals/celebrations that fit me and have meaning for me.

52. cherish my physical body, treating it gently and with the same sort of respect I would give if it belonged to someone else.

Tawny

The bright colors of fall are beautiful, but my favorites are the tawny colors of drying grasses and weeds. If you let your eye catch on them, explore them, you notice the differences between what could seem a large stretch of sameness. A phrase from a Mary Oliver poem pops into my head - "and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular." I sometimes think that if we humans managed to eradicate all the things "we" deem as not useful or not beautiful, the world would be so much less rich. So, here, now, I am thankful for all the marvelous beauty and diversity that surrounds me in my own yard and community.

thyme under leaves

Virginia creeper

rock wall and beautiful, tawny weeds

dried grasses and rocks

tawny and headframe

mountains and weeds

love the way the mountains look like layers, stacked on top of one another

more mountain layers (from Walkerville)

Callie in the sun, sharing the bed with a few fall decorations yet to be put up